Sex in your city dating

I got lucky for a little while and seriously dated a man for about a year, though I had initially lied to him for two months about my status.

He forgave me and we worked through it, like grown-ups, and had a good time getting to know each other, but the insecurities that came along with the initial deceit led to more baggage than was healthy for either of us.

But one day, randomly, I added the HIV rapid test to the list of things to do before intake to my pap smear appointment.

In the LGBTQ community, the absence of risk when it comes to sleeping with an undetectable partner, and using a condom to prevent other STIs, is much more widely accepted and normal, though still tough.

But as a single heterosexual woman, I have the added challenge when dating of convincing men, who are often just as naive as I used to be, that they can be intimate with me.

I was living in New York City with a boyfriend I'll call Matt when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first steady, long-term relationship, and we did what I used to think of as "grown-up" things.

Like having Sunday football parties or fighting in Home Depot about what color to paint an accent wall in our living room.

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