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What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.

Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.

If he doesn't have a job, it's understandable that he won't want to lead with that, but if he won't even elaborate when pressed, he either (1) does something shady as hell for a living or (2) is just fine with lying a lot.14. It's one thing if he's being a gentleman and doesn't want you to make a long drive out to see him.

Either he's being really forward with you or that "thinking of you" text was only sent to you because he wasn't paying attention.4.

You get a text that seems like it was meant for someone else.

"Hey, how about for our first date, we grab a bite to eat, and then I [vague reference to oral here]." Chances are slim you are going to be like, "Yeah, dude.

Let's go grab some Frostys and then bang." Socially competent people know to just ask someone out to dinner and then let the banging happen organically.13. There's no shame in being unemployed for a stretch or getting paid under the counter.

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It seems like every day there's a new form of online dating.

It's another if he freaks out at the prospect of you being within a 20-mile radius of his home.15. Either he has low self-esteem, doesn't care about pictures, or that picture is not at all indicative of him.

You shouldn't be one to judge a book by its cover, obviously, but if he's actively trying to deceive people, that says a lot about his personality.

Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. However, if you are conservative about sexuality, try and date someone who is also conservative about sexuality, and wants a deeper commitment first.

Do something where you'll have something to talk about. On the other hand, you don't want to put your date, yourself or your son in embarrassing situations. Question from Denise: Are online dating sites good ways to meet people? You have to try different sites to see which ones feel comfortable for you, and which ones have tools that you think will create a better chance of a good relationship. But I think third date it starts to up the ante, and by the fifth date there is some pressure for some sexuality.

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