Dobson ten steps in dating
The phrase "too hot not to cool down" has validity. Don't discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new. If the hurting individual can remain calm, as Shirley did with me, the next two steps may be reconciliation and marriage. If not, then no amount of pleading will change anything. Do not depend entirely upon one another for the satisfaction of every emotional need. Neither the man nor the woman should do all the giving.Relationships that begin in a frenzy frequently burn themselves out. No matter how warm and accepting your friend may be, any great revelation of low self-esteem or embarrassing weaknesses can be fatal when interpersonal "valleys" occur. Maintain interests and activities outside that romantic relationship, even after marriage. I once broke up with a girl because she let me take her to nice places, bring her flowers, buy her lunch, etc. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential husband or wife is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, hooked on drugs or alcohol, given to selfishness, etc. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development.Talk and interact with them, face-to-face if you can, but give them plenty of room to breathe. The purpose of dating is to see if two people are a match.
Let me get very specific with those of you who are single but wish someday to be married. Don't call too often on the phone or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married--or that you think you've just found Mr. If your partner has not arrived at the same conclusion, you'll throw him or her into panic. Most important: Relationships are constantly being "tested" by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. " It is incredibly important in these instances to appear poised, secure, and equally independent. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs. Extending the same concept, keep in mind that virtually every dating relationship that continues for a year or more and seems to be moving toward marriage will be given the ultimate test.
For instance, some people fall in love immediately and they have a smooth dating experience.
For other people, although God may be leading them, the feelings for each other take time to develop.
So here goes: Your quality and purpose of life is not determined by whether or not you date or get married.
Always pursue God and health (spiritual, emotional, and physical) and you will be fine.