Your sweetheart is trying to fix or deal with is something else. It’s not helpful to make judgmental statements about her body, appearance, or eating habits — at all.It could be anxiety, depression, or just the suffering and ennui that is part of life. You’re not going to know, and odds are, she won’t either. It’s best if you just don’t make any comments about her appearance at all, even to say, “You’re beautiful.” (She hears: “I’m fat.”) Don’t say anything at all about how much or how little she eats. Compliment her on her intelligence, her humor, or something else that has any eating disorder, you ask? As it happens, starving yourself and / or bingeing and purging can play havoc with the body’s hormones.I am learning that time is a huge factor in getting to know someone and that the dirty laundry will come out naturally, over time.We don't have to put our dirty socks on the table before the food has even arrived on the first date!I have definitely struggled with giving out too much information -- my deepest thoughts, secrets, and fears -- too soon.I used to wear the same thing on all of my first dates. Unlike in Nathaniel Hawthorne's , my scarlet letter was not an "A" for adultery, but a "T" for trauma.He wanted control of my life and would do anything to get it.Real guys are not as predictable, and I find this quite challenging.
I have heard it said about relationships, "It's okay to have baggage, just make sure you carry your own bags." In the past, I have not carried my own bags very well, and in fact, I have expected guys to pick them up for me.It’s not uncommon; but neither is it so common that you should expect to randomly date one woman with these issues after another.If they’re showing up for you, it probably means something.)Understand that it’s not (just) about food.Long before this happens, a hungry person experiences mood and behavioral changes, most of which are destructive to a relationship.A hungry person is not usually a very loving person. A hungry person is not very motivated to be intimate.