Attraction and dating
There is a sense of fitting together: a synchronicity, a matching of taste, and a discovery of corresponding experiences.This promising connection suggests the possibility of a relationship and this triggers the emergence of fantasies and needs. The dance of flirtation may not indicate a “readiness for relationship.” These are two different things.I suspect some of our readers might also say go ahead and, in the words of Lori Gottlieb, "Marry him." What all of this is based upon, though, is what other people think, and that is a snare (Proverbs ).But it's also a disastrous foundation for marriage.His good qualities are dwarfed by the things I find annoying or even embarrassing, and I'm way more attracted to other guys physically.We broke up for over six months while I wrestled with this issue in my heart, and I thought I had finally become content enough with his looks and personality to continue on with the relationship, but right after he proposed, the doubts appeared again, and I almost gave the ring back.
The initial connection promises further contact: seeing each other again, long talks on the phone.I know you say that attraction isn't everything, and I definitely agree. In a day where the age of first marriage keeps getting older, it's understandable that people in your life would encourage you to consider, and then marry, a man they perceive to be such a good catch.But from my experience, it's incredibly difficult to have a relationship without it, and I know it makes a difference in the way I treat him, whether I want it to or not. It's also understandable that in view of their urging, you would try to talk yourself into marrying him, especially if he is as godly a man as you say he is. A critical transition occurs when the contact moves from visual appraisal and flirty gestures to “talking.” So much is revealed by the tone and conversational style of the other person. The contact can be too stimulating and result in unappealing behaviors; the moments of being out-of-sync can be interpreted as “time to give up.” Also, the initial upsurge of sexual urges can be disconcerting.